


Military's Cat

by chibikaie



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 22:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17292398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibikaie/pseuds/chibikaie
Summary: Not every dog of the military is actually a ... dog.





	Military's Cat

**Author's Note:**

> A little alternate universe ficlet for your amusement. (Or perhaps just mine.)

"I can't take care of them," Hawkeye said. "I have a dog."

"I'd love to," Hughes said, "but my darling Elicia is allergic to cats."

"And my place doesn't have enough room," Havoc said.

"Same here," Fury, Breda, and Falman chorused.

"I don't need a keeper!" Ed yelled, almost frothing at the mouth.

"But your brother does," Hawkeye pointed out reasonably, nodding decisively at Al lying unconscious on the cot, "and you certainly can't take care of him while you're in such a state."

Ed managed to grit his teeth and cringe simultaneously, and then ruined the effect by planting his face directly in the floor as his legs refused to cooperate. Again.

He peeled himself off the floor. "But _why_ ," he whined desperately, "does it have to be _him_?"

In the corner, Mustang smirked. "Look at it this way: It could be worse. Major Armstrong could be in town instead of off north on a mission."

At that thought, Ed became slightly green, and put up no further protest.

* * *

Roy set down a bowl of chicken soup for Alphonse and smiled, listening to Ed's progress in the hall.

_Shuf-shuf-shuf-THUD._ "#%@*!!" Scrape, _shuf-shuf-_ "WAAAH!"

"Fullmetal," Roy called, "why don't you try _walking_? Cats do not shuffle."

"#@*$ Colonel, did you know cats walk on their _toes_?! I feel like an idiot!"

"That's Brigadier General now, thank you very much," Roy corrected. And no, he'd never thought about it, but now that he did, it sounded right.

"You're not welcome!" Ed shot back, and fell over with another thud. Roy rolled his eyes; it _was_ true that Ed's exploits had contributed to his latest promotion, but he wasn't about to admit it.

Alphonse made a sort of snorting noise. "He still calls you 'Colonel' when we're alone; Brother is such a creature of habit. Really, it's probably why he's having so much trouble adjusting."

"Was it this bad with the automail?"

"I don't think so. I think it's the cat limbs; the joints are in strange places, and the claws have him baffled." Alphonse grinned as Ed finally made his way into Roy's spare bedroom, where the younger brother had been installed. "It's about time, Brother. Next time, I'll just start breakfast without you."

"Hmph." Ed threw himself into the seat by the bed and glared at nothing in particular. "You sure you ought to be sitting up already?"

"Oh, Brother. I'm fine, really, just tired."

"I don't want you getting sick like Teacher does."

"That's entirely different, and you know it. I'll be up and around in no time."

Roy gave Alphonse a look of his own. "You do recall that Fullmetal spent more than a week completely bedridden after your transmutation, don't you?"

Alphonse waved him off. "You and Brother were helping me, and we were only transmuting three limbs, not a whole body. I feel fine, and in a week or two we'll see if we can retransmute - "

"No!" Ed cut in hastily. "I mean - it's fine! I'll learn how to walk soon, and I've still got one good hand. I'm lucky to be alive, so I'm not going to quibble over a couple of limbs."

A shudder rippled through Roy as he remembered Ed's resolute voice over the kidnapper's phone: 'It's just a leg. Nothing to cry about.' Edward Elric was the only person he knew of who could be so blasé about losing a limb, not to mention one of the only two flesh limbs he'd had left at the time. Receiving the severed leg, hearing that pained voice, Roy had been furious. Knowing that Ed had been still in the hands of the kidnapper, an unscrupulous chimera researcher, had almost been unbearable.

Roy swallowed and forced himself back into the awkward present. Beside him, Alphonse said, "Brother, I promised that I'd get your body back - "

"It's too risky!" Ed pleaded. "Not for this, Al. Listen, the pain's gone, and that's really what I wanted. Winry won't be happy that the automail's gone, but you like cats anyway, don't you?"

_'I hear you like cats,'_ the kidnapper had drawled when Alphonse had stumbled into the room where his brother was being held. He'd graced them with a cruel smirk, and activated the array on the ground.

"I mean, I like 'em too," Ed said hurriedly. "I wanted to keep all those cats you brought in with you. It's just that we never had a home to offer them."

A small orange tabby had been chained to Ed's left wrist.

Roy had blown the rogue alchemist through the wall. _'No way am I going to sit here and do nothing!'_ Ed had vowed, and, slamming his one good hand to the floor, had fought the array.

There hadn't been much time. Alphonse had joined in, and Roy, feeling desperate, feeling useless, had added his own efforts to the mix. He wasn't sure he'd contributed anything, knowing too little about human anatomy to be helpful, but he had tried.

The result was sitting before them, tail flicking back and forth as Ed rambled on. "... Really. It's for the best."

**Author's Note:**

> Possibly to be continued ...


End file.
